My Life Coach

In our society where divorce is common, I am often asked how I have stayed married (to the same man) for 30 years. My flippant answer, "We stay together for the goats", always gets a laugh. Let's face it, 30 years can wear down anyone, so at times I thought this explanation was factual, after all, the goats don't grow up, graduate and leave home. There is never an empty nest syndrome, and you are always raising "kids".

But recently I was running a 10K, and since running is when I have my epiphanies, ie: How to make the whole world vegan. Or how I will become a famous senior triathlete. You know, the things you figure out in your mind during oxygen deficit. I began to ponder a better answer to the question of my particular marriage longevity.

On that morning, as well as most mornings that I have raced over the past 27 years, Jerry was waiting for me at the finish line. Well, sleeping in a chair on the beach still counts because it was a beach run. Anyway, as I ran, I thought about how he has supports me in my running. He has always encouraged me during the times when I didn't feel like training, he would persuade me just to go out and run. Hangry has nothing on "I missed my run bitchiness".

Through the years he has nourished me with homemade Spinach Lasagna, Tofu Stuffed Shells, and Vegan Spaghetti and Meatballs for my carbo-loading meals. He didn't blink an eye when I arrived at the finish line in Jacksonville with a bloody arm from a fall. Or the time when I received blood in the ICU after a Chicago Marathon. Then there was my first ultra run where I broke my finger and DNF (running lingo for DID NOT FINISH). He knew I loved the game, and still encouraged me. (Remember that he is the one who would suffer the wrath of the "I didn't run bitchiness".)

He was supporting when I won, and when I berated myself all the way home feeling that I could have done better. He became the designated driver so I could enjoy the post race party free beer. When I was not at my ideal running weight, I would tell him, "I'm fat and ugly!", he would always reply, "Honey, you're not fat". What a guy!

Besides being my mathematician and figuring out my goal times, splits, and racing logistics, he had his own adventures. He likes to tell the story of how the Hooters Girls invited him in at 9 a.m. to "try out" the wings and beer as he waited for me during an Orlando run. The sacrifices he has made to support my running! He spent decades standing at the finish line watching a bunch of women finish their race with wet t-shirts, this must have been so hard on him. What an amazing man!

Even though my running has gotten slower over the years, he's always there to say, "You did good for an old lady". On a serious note, I guess that's why I kept him for 30 years. He has always believed in me. Although he may never be a runner himself, he understands how important it is to me. That's what makes a marriage work. He truly has been my life coach.